180 Degrees of No-where to Go…aug.02

It was a cool crisp morning in early April, an absolutely beautiful day to assassinate a target dummy. I had been in the Marine Corps for 14 months now and this was the final qualification of my military career path. It was called “Evade and Capture.” My assignment was to shoot 5 targets, in 5 days, in 500 square miles of terrain, with 5 bullets. To make things interesting the enemy would know I was there and they were searching for me. So far, I had taken out four of the five dummies’; the last would be an easy 800-meter shot from the saddle of a small rise. I had graduated number one in camouflage school. I knew the enemy would have to trip over me to find me. I could hide better than a tick on a long-hair’d dog. I was set in complete cover with 15 minutes to go before the target would appear for 6 seconds, my only window of opportunity.
That’s when I felt it, the unmistakable tap of a rifle barrel on the back of my head.
Tap……………. I pretended to be a rock.
TAP……. TAP……………… A little more insistent. I stayed motionless.
Whack!!…….. And then he said the dreaded words, “I will shoot you!”
Now rubber bullets would not break my skin, but a shot from with in 10 feet would hurt 20 time worse than smashing your thumb with a hammer. I was caught. I do not know how they found me. But I had no where to go. I rolled over 180 degrees just in time to catch the butt end of the riffle in my face that knocked my ass out. I woke later, stripped, bound, and gagged in an interrogation room. I knew this was going to be the fun part. NOT! The interrogation is the final test of your mettle or will, to put it another way. If you can handle Uncle Sam’s interrogation, you can handle anybody’s.
After the ordeal I found out I was unconscience for 18 hours and held out for 36. That was of course after being awake for 96 hours in the bush. Nevertheless, in the end, I cracked. And that is just not good enough for Uncle Sam. I would never be considered for sniper/scout specialist. My chosen career path in the military was over. But a deeper understanding in myself grew. My destiny lied along another path, and thanks to Ronald Reagan’s military cut backs, I was released from duty 4 months later to explore the other fork in the road. The lighter side if you will.
Now 15 years later I look back at the man I was and was about to become. I think how could that have been me, and yet at the same time, I find comfort in my duality. The harmony of the balance of light and dark, of force and resistance, and the place I exist in, because of those dualities. I am a man who has the capacity of evil destructive deeds, but I am also capable of creation and inspiration. And with both I get to revel here in my place on earth with my 180 degrees of sun or moon.