The Unmentionable Household Tool... ugly poetry 12-03
I am sitting here thinking of all that technology has brought to our benefit. Amazing things, useful things, stuff like cars, computers, the light bulb, it is mind boggling to think how we survived so long with out these creature comforts and then it hits me, the one item that is rarely ever spoken of, the unsung hero of modern times, the vibrator.
Did you know the vibrator was originally designed to do the nasty little thought running through your head? Yep, back in 1880 by a British physician. It was invented as a treatment to a common affliction in women called Praefocatio Matricis (literally: womb disease) or Hysteria for short. This affliction was considered common and chronic in women as far back as antiquity. It was the most diagnosed disease in history until the American Psychiatric Association removed it from its cannon of disorders in 1952. In a medical journal from the 1600’s, the most widely accepted treatment for hysteria was genital massage to orgasm by a doctor or midwife. Thus, the vibrator was born to provide therapeutic massage that neither fatigued the therapist nor demanded skills that were difficult to acquire. By 1900, the vibrator was battery powered, and was being marketed as a home appliance in periodicals like Woman’s Home Companion or Needlecraft. Then in the 1920’s a cultural backlash sent the vibrator into obscurity for reasons of decency. It was not until the 1960’s and 70’s that it reemerged only this time blatantly as a sexual aid.
Now it acures to me that this particular instrument was created, so the doctors would no longer have to do this treatment manually. As opposed to the original notion that it provided the cure to hysteria, well at least until the next treatment was needed. So, it goes to wonder has most of our advancement come from the desire not to have to do something.
The idea and creation for indoor plumbing circumvented the need for pulling buckets of water up from the well and the use of an outhouse. People domesticated horses and later created the bicycle and car, so they would not have to walk everywhere. Every useful instrument I can think of was created so we could be lazier. The dishwasher, the vacuum, and yes even the vibrator was designed with laziness in mind. Sure we can argue to call it progress and ingenuity, but the fact remains we create things, to do jobs, so we can be off doing something else. And it’s not just an American way, it is the human way. Every civilization throughout history has done this same thing. Think about whalers, eight men would climb into a dingy and row after a whale to harpoon it, until one day some guy thought it might be a good idea to get a bigger boat.
It is amazing that we have progressed as far as we have through avoidance, rather than love. That should have been the reason to create the vibrator. But I suppose that’s the reality for men, we can create many amazing things, strange things, useful things, anything mechanical that can do the job better than we can. Because the fact remains that, a vibrator produces orgasm in 90% of the women who use it. A man, barely half that.

Historical information provided by
Maines, Rachel P. “The Technology of Orgasm”, 1998 John Hopkins University Press